I am 49 years old and am trying to find a diocese or order that - barring any major impediments - will confirm and eventually ordain me to the Roman Catholic Priesthood. My story is a simple and not uncommon one: After leaving the church and living a life that, I daresay, could have rivaled St. Augustine’s, returned to the church with a renewed sense of faith and hope.
After familiarizing myself with the liturgy, volunteering in my parish and learning all I could about what and why the church teaches what it teaches, I embraced a quiet life of prayer (Adoration, Rosary, Liturgy of the Hours), spiritual direction, work and church. Feeling the need for something more, I looked into and joined the Secular Franciscan Order. I was professed in September of 2008. I never dreamed of hoping for anything else other than living out the rest of life as a layman.
But then one day I was sitting in St. Patrick’s Cathedral (NYC) during mass, doing the penance that Father had just given me in the confessional. I knelt there quietly praying, thankful for His grace and mercy, when I had a sudden sense of God’s presence and, as Father was lifting the Precious Cup, I “felt” the Lord call me, invite me to share in the ministry of his priesthood. This was TOTALLY unexpected. I began to shake as I was filled with intense emotion and began to cry. My response was (at first) “NO!” but the unmistakable sense was that He was asking me to serve as a priest.
I made an appointment with my spiritual director and talked and prayed about it. I spoke to some trusted friends. Everyone knew that there would be some great obstacles. I was then in my mid-40’s; I had only a few months of college education under my belt, I had little to no finances to speak of - life had been about survival most my life after my mother died. Education was NOT affordable and therefore not an option.
But on the other hand, everyone agreed that because of my spiritual maturity and personal experience, I would one day be a good priest. So with that said, I began to look at local dioceses and religious orders.
What I discovered were walls set up to pretty much discourage older men from going in. Many communities simply had a strict age limit, others were somewhat flexible but wanted at least a BA under my belt (where would I get the time and money for that?) and one other was willing but had no real formation or community to speak of with most of its priests being brought in from other countries and no students in the program. One vocation director (after several email attempts at getting his attention) simply emailed me back from his blackberry: “I don’t think this will be a good fit”.
I found myself pretty frustrated – especially when I checked out catholic - only to discover that there were quite a few men like me out there but little to no support or resources to turn to.
The majority of Vocation websites and Vocation programs are designed towards young men. I get that. I have no issues whatsoever with young men entering religious orders or going for the Diocesan priesthood. I fully support it. And have encouraged many to "go for it." But now, here’s the crux of the problem: one would think that leaders in the church would be open to older men who are faithful to the teachings of the church, are mature, responsible, caring and seeking to serve in the holy priesthood of Jesus Christ.
If we were to look at Scripture and follow the example of our Lord you would get the definite impression that the priestly vocation is not necessarily for the young. Out of the twelve apostles we know only for sure that one (John) was the kid in the group. Several of the others seemed to be professionals that were pretty established in their lives (several fishermen, a tax collector, a political zealot).
Mature men entering the priesthood can provide a healthy balance and support system to young seminarians and priests - something that they would not necessarily get anywhere else.
I'm not asking to be automatically accepted and ordained. I'm just asking (for myself and guys like me) for the opportunity to test our vocations and maybe, just maybe be able to serve our Lord and his people.
Opening the doors WIDE to mature men in any state in life can and will give the church a much needed stability inside and outside seminary doors. Our Lord gave us the prime example. Shouldn’t we follow it?
